


Seoul To New York To Seoul, Ad Infinitum

by munich



Category: SM Entertainment | SMTown, 소녀시대 | Girls' Generation | SNSD
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-01-30
Packaged: 2018-05-17 02:06:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5849830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/munich/pseuds/munich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A dating scandal takes two.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seoul To New York To Seoul, Ad Infinitum

"You're insane," says Jessica.

"It's yes or no," says Taeyeon.

Jessica takes a step back. "You're going insane," she says, again. "Your fucking image needs a lot more help than that."

"Three events is all I'm asking for," says Taeyeon.

"You or the company?" asks Jessica.

Taeyeon doesn't rise to the taunt. She is professional to a fault when it suits her, Jessica is remembering. "The gains will outnumber the losses," she says.

"Gains?" says Jessica. She almost laughs. "I forgot about the way you joke. What gains?"

"You know," says Taeyeon. Then she clarifies: "Publicity."

"I don't need your publicity," says Jessica. "Or your charity. Stop saying that."

"This isn't charity — " Taeyeon starts.

"No," says Jessica. "It's not. You're right. This is using me to somehow fix your image. So whatever I might gain, in the end what matters is that your gains will outnumber my gains."

Taeyeon looks sour for a mere second. "It's not a competition, either."

"Can you deny it," asks Jessica. She looks Taeyeon in the eye but Taeyeon looks away.

"Even so," Taeyeon says, shortly. She picks at her sleeve.

"Right," says Jessica.

"Look, what do you want? Money? The ban?" asks Taeyeon. She spreads an arm out. "The company will give you money. They'll get rid of the ban on music shows. They'll give you anything you want."

"I forgot how insane the company is," Jessica says, frowning. "I almost forgot about everything."

"Three events. By my side. I promise, that's all." Then she surprises Jessica and says, "Please."

Jessica shakes her head. "Do you think you can just walk in here and buy me that easily?" she asks. "I see, you want to pay for this scandal like you did for my silence, all right. Again?"

Taeyeon doesn't answer.

"Your girlfriend — " says Jessica out loud but cannot end the sentence. She shakes her head. The silence prickles.

"If this is your idea of a joke," she starts, instead.

"No," says Taeyeon.

"If you want to make an idiot out of me," she says.

"No," Taeyeon says, again. She hasn't lost that habit over time, at least.

Jessica grips the edge of the desk until her fingertips hurt.

"I name the terms," she says. "Everything. If I agree to this."

 

\--

 

The shop is tucked away at the end of a dusty Manhattan street. For anonymity it is good but not much else. They stare at each other over the table like strangers who just met and are both bald.

"How's the weather?" asks Taeyeon.

Jessica shakes her head, skepticism involuntarily rising to the surface. "How much do you want me?" she says.

"Three days. Three events," says Taeyeon, quickly. "I promise."

"You keep saying that," says Jessica.

"Because it's true," Taeyeon returns.

They look down at the table at the same time. Silence falls.

"Have you thought about what you want in return?" says Taeyeon.

Jessica shakes her head. Then she shakes it again to clear it. The impression of slipping into a dream's too vivid. "I can't believe I agreed to this," she says, staring out the window. "Forget about you. I must be crazy."

Taeyeon frowns. "Three days. Then it'll be over for you. It's not so long."

"Still," says Jessica.

"Then think of it as a business transaction if it bothers you so much," says Taeyeon, jaw tightening. "You know a lot about those, don't you?"

"Don't," says Jessica. "Don't you dare."

Taeyeon grows extremely quiet.

The coffee is making her hand tremble. If it weren't still hot, she might have flung it in Taeyeon's face.

"I have a business," says Jessica. "I am not going to apologize for it."

"I never asked you to apologize," says Taeyeon.

"Now," says Jessica.

The words cut as she hadn't exactly intended, or maybe she had. Jessica can see the moment something in Taeyeon's eyes flickers, then falls closed.

They sit in silence.

Jessica can't bear it. "Forget it," she says.

Taeyeon says, without looking up, "I thought you might have moved past that part, at least, by now."

"Then you must not have known me very well," snaps Jessica, olive branch be damned. If Taeyeon wasn't going to be professional about this anymore, neither was she.

Taeyeon's mouth tightens.

They go back to staring at anything but each other until the silence starts to rings in Jessica's head. Each silence is worse than the last, she thinks. "Tell me more about these events," says Jessica. "So I know what to expect."

Taeyeon frowns. "There are three of them."

Jessica rolls her eyes towards the ceiling.

"Beyond that," Taeyeon concludes, "Even I don't really know what to expect."

"You sing," says Jessica, "And that's all, isn't it?"

She senses the minute Taeyeon's eyes narrow. She almost expects it. Maybe she even deserves it. "I'm sorry," Taeyeon bites, sour and ugly. This isn't the apology that Jessica ever wanted, either. "I sing. Did you expect something else?"

Jessica is silent.

"How about an actuary? A magician? Yes, I've become an Olympic medalist in the time since I last saw you. There, Jessica. Is that better?" says Taeyeon, drawing back. There's a lot more talk in Taeyeon than Jessica remembered. She's on a roll now.

"People change," says Jessica.

"Some people don't change as easily as others," Taeyeon says.

"Their loss," says Jessica.

Now Taeyeon shakes her head. "Three events," she says.

Now it is starting to sound like a prayer. For a moment the wistfulness in Taeyeon's voice makes Jessica wish they were somebody else, in some other time. Then she thinks she imagined it. Probably she's projecting. The waiter arrives to give them the check.

 

 

"What is it?" asks Taeyeon, startling Jessica. For ten minutes since the waiter collected the check, they'd sat in the same seats without talking. Jessica glances up. Taeyeon is looking at her. Taeyeon was watching her the whole time, she thinks. The sensation is strange. But she can't presume to know what's in Taeyeon's gaze any more than she did before.

Jessica shakes her head. "The universe really is playing a joke," she says. "And the punch line is on me."

"It's not," Taeyeon says. "Here." She puts an envelope onto the table, and Jessica looks at it.

"A contract," says Jessica. It stings.

Taeyeon shrugs. "The company didn't know if you could keep your word," she says.

"Oh," says Jessica. That stings, too.

"I told them that it wasn't needed," says Taeyeon. "But they insisted."

Jessica wonders if the words were meant for her benefit. She's indulging in wishful thinking, probably. Taeyeon's tone was as flippant as ever. She picks it up.

"So."

"Have you forgotten what to do with contracts?" asks Taeyeon, lightly.

That is — not quite a joke, but something close to it. "Maybe in another universe," Jessica says. But the weight of the envelope is a bit unnerving. She puts it back down. "How many days?"

"By the end of the week. Thursday, preferably," says Taeyeon.

"This week is busy," Jessica murmurs, rubbing her forehead.

"To look through a couple of pages?" Taeyeon says.

"To give it the time it deserves," Jessica snaps.

Taeyeon is surprisingly silent. Her silence feels different from before but Jessica doesn't try guessing why anymore. It is as though she has scoured Taeyeon's face a thousand times and found glass. She's tired, wondering what they're doing. "Give me until Friday," Jessica says, slipping it into her bag.

"How's your company going?" says Taeyeon, suddenly.

Jessica turns towards her, startled. She tries to cover it up by fumbling for the nearest thing on the table. The bottle of water will do. "Blanc & Eclare?" she says.

"Is that what it's called?" Taeyeon asks.

Jessica stares at Taeyeon.

"Excuse me, you've been sitting here for a while," says the waiter. The shop's starting to crowd. He's extremely apologetic as he shoos them away.

"Friday is fine," says Taeyeon, as they get to their feet.

 

\--

 

The week really is busy. There are emails, orders, electricity outages, meetings to give. The show in Seoul is more a headache than it's a blessing. Three days go by. It's dark by the time Jessica reaches the street Taeyeon named. Taeyeon's standing at the corner. She unwraps her arms from around herself when she sees Jessica.

"Can you wait a while?" Taeyeon says, as soon as Jessica gets nearer.

"Oh. I mean," says Jessica, "If you — "

"Okay," says Taeyeon, and goes.

Even the lampposts are darkening by the time Taeyeon returns, after ages. It's probably more like two minutes but it feels like an eternity.

"You idiot," she says. "Do you know it's cold outside?"

"Sorry," says Taeyeon, and she sounds as if she means it.

This time Jessica gives her the benefit of doubt. The initial bewilderment, that bad headspace mixed with the shock of seeing Taeyeon again that had propelled her through the last couple of days — all of that's faded. The situation seems straightforward enough to her, now: a business transaction between colleagues.

"Here," she says, and gives the contract over.

Taeyeon takes it and seems to stare at it. Jessica wonders if Taeyeon's blanked out. She's gone right by Jessica, maybe. It wouldn't be the first time.

"Three events." This time Jessica offers it.

"Three events," says Taeyeon.

"Then you'll be free of me," says Jessica, aiming for humor.

"I don't think so," says Taeyeon.

Even like this Jessica realizes it's an odd thing to say. Then a guy shows up at the end of the street, shouting profanities in their direction.

Taeyeon looks at her. She doesn't know much English, Jessica remembers.

"Ignore him," Jessica says, under her breath. "He's just being a jerk."

Taeyeon nods.

"He'll go away again," says Jessica, much more unsure about this than she tries to sound. In any case she wills it into existence by crossing her arms and glaring at him until, a few minutes later, he disappears around the corner. Taeyeon's gaze is strangely familiar when Jessica turns back towards her. She looks away as soon as Jessica catches her eye. Jessica is discovering that's one of the other habits that Taeyeon's kept, from the old days.

"An American jerk," says Taeyeon, after a pause.

"This street you named is rubbish," says Jessica. 

Taeyeon scowls but it lacks purpose. "I didn't — "

"Shush," says Jessica. She sees movement and steps nearer to Taeyeon, but it turns out to be nothing. She steps back. 

"Let's go," says Taeyeon.

They take the opposite turn and nearly run smack into the same guy. He's got a friend. 

The friend is much more appreciative. "Hey, babe," he says. "You're beautiful. How about dinner? How come you're not smiling?" Taeyeon recoils.

"Hey," Jessica snaps. "Back — "

He ignores her. He stretches a hand out towards Taeyeon's cheek.

Jessica shoves him aside before he can touch her. Beside her Taeyeon has gone still. Suddenly Jessica is trembling all over with rage. She could shove him all the way to China, she thinks, no, Siberia.

The guy stumbles back into the wall. "Chill," he says, and Jessica would like to shove him again. "I was just playing. You this feisty in bed, huh? I bet you like fucking."

"Come on," says Taeyeon. She puts a hand on Jessica's elbow.

They aren't blocked from going but the boys' hollers follow them as Taeyeon pulls Jessica away.

"What are they saying?"

They were shouting that their skinny asses should be fucking spanked until doomsday and back.

"They're saying to forget about the Saturday date," Jessica says.

"What a pity," Taeyeon says under her breath.

"They're neighborhood brats," spits Jessica. Her voice is shaking but she can't help it; she's still reeling from fury. "They've got nothing better with their lives to do than bother us. Stupid idiots. Like you should smile for them at all if you don't want to. I should report them to the police." She realizes Taeyeon's hand is still on her elbow and shakes it off. Taeyeon is watching her. "I should go back and smash them with my purse. Why are you looking at me like that? I'm angry."

"Nothing," says Taeyeon, quickly.

"You've seen me angry before," says Jessica.

"I have," says Taeyeon. The funny expression on her face is gone, and Jessica thinks she must have imagined it in the midst of her fuming. Probably even Taeyeon can tell the steam rising out of Jessica's ears.

They walk in silence.

"It's always nice when I know your anger isn't directed at me," says Taeyeon.

Jessica glances at Taeyeon. Her mouth's tightened. If Jessica didn't know any better she'd think Taeyeon wants to laugh. For a second Jessica almost recognizes her again.

"I mean it," Jessica says.

"I know," says Taeyeon.

There is no police in their vicinity. They are walking but don't know where.

"Come on," says Taeyeon. "Let's get something to eat. New York is really cold."

 

 

"Here," says Jessica. "The soup's good."

"Is there naengmyeon?"

Jessica manages to snag a table. She looks at the menu. "There's slow-cooked chicken enchilada soup," she says.

"Hmm," says Taeyeon, then surprises Jessica when she says: "I miss Seoul."

"So you were recording in New York?" Jessica asks, tamping down the curiousity that rises within her. Taeyeon is looking out the window.

"Some of the producers are here," says Taeyeon. "They wanted a more hands-on approach for my next album. Ever since Girl's Generation ended, you know — "

The sentence collapses. The way Taeyeon trips over it is funny if it were any other moment. Taeyeon reaches for a packet of sugar even though Jessica knows she's drinking water. She doesn't mean to glance at Jessica as she does it, Jessica is sure.

Jessica bites back the questions she is suddenly desperate to ask. They aren't even accusatory, most of them. She thinks about the rest of the girls in Seoul.

"This crispy chicken looks good," says Taeyeon.

"I looked at the contract yesterday," says Jessica.

"Oh," says Taeyeon.

Jessica remembers her own surprise when she flipped the twenty-third page and saw the words in clear print: _in accordance with anything Sooyeon Jessica Jung wants._

"The terms were pretty literal," says Jessica.

"I kept my word, didn't I?" says Taeyeon. "Anything you want."

There is something Jessica couldn't puzzle out. "There are bigger scandals than me and you, you know," says Jessica.

"But there's nothing that will get more media coverage," says Taeyeon, with a shrug.

Jessica wants to ask what scandal had happened — wants to know exactly had happened to Taeyeon that demanded such a big cover-up, but Taeyeon's eyes are flickering away. There are boundaries in business relationships.

"There's going to be no end to the net reaction when we come out together," says Taeyeon. It's soft, as if it was supposed to be said to herself.

"You know zero about the events themselves," Jessica says.

Taeyeon shakes her head. "They want us to show up at the Met gala at the end of the year. That's all I know."

This time Jessica can't hide her surprise.

Taeyeon notices. "They want to make sure the media coverage is big," she says.

"Okay," says Jessica, after a pause. She doesn't see, at all. "Is anything involved?"

Taeyeon frowns. "The red carpet for you — not any of the performances. We don't need to sing together."

"Of course," Jessica says, idly. It slips out. She regrets it as soon as she says it. She doesn't think she meant to sound so bitter. Taeyeon notices, she thinks, because Taeyeon's mouth tightens.

"That's really all I know," says Taeyeon.

Jessica is silent.

"You sing," she says.

Taeyeon can't seem to meet her gaze again, but something about Taeyeon's shoulders relaxes just the tiniest bit. Jessica's mind insists upon taking the time to notice things like this. After all this time. Even when nearly everything else about Taeyeon is unfamiliar. Jessica doesn't want to wonder about it. Instead, she shuts her eyes.

 

 

Outside the storefront they put on their jackets. Her cell rings and she steps away to take it. There's a garden hedge nearby and Taeyeon sits on it, propping one leg over the other, waiting. Jessica doesn't know what she's thinking.

"You're going back to Seoul?" says Taeyeon, when the call ends.

"Business," says Jessica. "That's all it ever is. This idiot just — "

Shredded thirty of the samples they'd prepared in Seoul for the fashion show, Jessica was going to say. She is too angry to say it out loud. She puts her cell back into her pocket. She can feel Taeyeon's eyes on her.

"You're running into a lot of idiots today," says Taeyeon.

"They run into me," Jessica says.

"The biggest one is standing in front of you," says Taeyeon.

Jessica looks at Taeyeon, who is determinedly not looking back at Jessica this time. Jessica wonders if by this point it's a reflex. Taeyeon's cheeks are pinkening in the chill. Jessica doesn't think Taeyeon had meant to say it. "Aren't you flying back soon, too?"

"The next weekend," says Taeyeon.

"That's a while from now," says Jessica, surprised.

"When's your flight?" asks Taeyeon.

"Tomorrow," says Jessica.

"I'll go with you to the airport," says Taeyeon.

"Hold on," says Jessica. Somebody is calling her again.

"This guy named Michael sounds really annoying," says Taeyeon, when Jessica steps back again.

"Stop listening in on my calls," says Jessica, fidgeting. She almost forgets herself and adds, Taeyeon-ah. She remembers just in time and for a moment is just annoyed at everything in the world, in general.

 

\--

 

The drive to the airport shouldn't technically have been very long, but there's a lot of traffic, especially in Central Manhattan. "It's too bad things like time zones actually exist," Jessica says, as they get out of the taxi. There is another transfer at San Francisco at 6 in the morning the next day, and she is dreading it already.

The airport entrance is on the other side of the street.

"Hold on," says Jessica.

Taeyeon glances over her shoulder.

"If you're going to play my girlfriend," she says, shortly, and turns the suitcase over to Taeyeon. Taeyeon doesn't say a word when she takes it, which surprises Jessica. They have so many question marks that are going unanswered, but all the same she hadn't thought Taeyeon would be so obliging.

 

 

They are twelve minutes early.

Jessica buys a coffee at a Starbucks that's crowded to the brim. She struggles her way through the press of people to the square right outside the door, where Taeyeon's nearly staked out an entire row to themselves. Taeyeon sits waiting cross-legged on the seat, picking at a shoelace.

"Sometimes I think I'll end up dying in an airport," says Taeyeon.

Jessica sits down next to her. She recognizes Taeyeon's sometimes strange brand of humor, though it's been a while since she was used to it.

"Here," she says.

Taeyeon looks at the mug Jessica's extending.

"Coffee?" Taeyeon asks.

"Helps morbidity," says Jessica.

Taeyeon laughs. It is a curious bright burst of sound. It is more curious to realize that she has missed making Taeyeon laugh. Jessica hasn't heard it in so long. Her throat tightens despite herself.

"I wonder if they put the shopping nearest to us on purpose," she says, shaking her head. By some unspoken agreement yesterday they aren't talking about the deal or the events or the scandal. Taeyeon seems content never to speak about any of it ever again, but Taeyeon is content not talking about a lot of things, Jessica knows, from experience.

"Probably," says Taeyeon. The number of people starting to mill around the security area is growing by the second, and Jessica tries not to glance too much at it.

"The security's getting tougher. I should probably go soon."

Taeyeon doesn't answer. "Why are we the only ones in these seats?" she asks, suddenly seeming to realize this and twisting around.

Jessica nods. "Look, there's a crying baby. You chose the best row in the whole airport."

"Oh," says Taeyeon. "Right."

"Did you really not hear him crying?" asks Jessica, curiously. His cries are loud. He's probably hungry.

"I was — " says Taeyeon. "This was closest to the Starbucks. For you."

The admission seems to make Taeyeon uncomfortable. She shifts in the seat, starting to jitter her knee. The more time she spends with Taeyeon, the more Jessica thinks she can start recognizing some slivers of her again. This sketch she never got to finish. This sketch she'll never get to finish, either, probably, after some few months or so.

"In Seoul, I'm going to go to Ojang-dong," says Jessica.

Taeyeon nods.

"I'll eat some naengmyeon for you," Jessica informs her.

The clock strikes the hour. Ten more people join the security line.

"I should go," says Jessica. She gets to her feet.

"See, you're going to leave me alone with the baby," says Taeyeon.

"I'm going to leave the baby alone with you," says Jessica.

Taeyeon seems offended. "You feel sorrier for him," she says, glancing up.

"I don't feel sorrier for you," retorts Jessica.

"Oh?" says Taeyeon.

Their eyes meet. For once Taeyeon doesn't look away after one second.

Jessica swallows without knowing why.

"See you sometime," she says.


End file.
